


An Introduction to Chairman: The Asshole

by Katitty



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, brotp tbh, chairman is such an asshole, my bros, story time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 05:20:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6598393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katitty/pseuds/Katitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chairman Meow is an asshole. But we all knew that. In his defence though, Alec did throw him across the room for sitting on his face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Introduction to Chairman: The Asshole

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Malec Trash Squad](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Malec+Trash+Squad).



> This could take place in either SH or the books. Or the movie. 
> 
>  
> 
> For Melek. I tried to fluff. Sorry if I failed.

'What is that?' 

Magnus was lounging in on his sofa, a book sticking up from his stomach.

'What is what, Darling?'

'That.' Alec pointed at Magnus's stomach. 'That thing right there.'

Magnus lowered the book. 'Chairman Meow is hardly a thing, Alexander.'

'Chairman - what? Where did it come from?'

Magnus went back to reading his book. 'He's not an it either.'

'Where did he come from? I have never seen him before.'

Magnus sighed. 'That's because he ran away. I forgot to feed him, so he went looking for food. Poor thing must have gotten himself lost.' 

Alec quirked an eyebrow. 'Though it wasn't a thing,' he murmured.

\- - -

Alec had become accustomed to waking up to the sound of purring. Magnus tended to purr while he slept, which Alec loved more than anything.

He had not, however, become accustomed to waking up to the sound of someone purring, and vibrations on his face. 

'What?' Alec opened his eyes. He was most definitely not accustomed to waking up to a cat on his his face. 'Gah!'

A screech, and hiss and a bloodied cheek later, Magnus woke up. 'What are you screaming about?'

'That rat attacked me!'

'Chairman is not a rat. Now shush, I'm sleeping.'

\- - -

'MAGNUS!'

Magnus hung his head. He whimpered under his breath, 'what now?'

'Magnus! Magnus this is an emergency!'

'Yes, Alexander?' Magnus ran a hand down his face as he entered the room.

'It drank my coffee!' Alec exclaimed as he thrust an empty mug at Magnus.

'What?'

'That little rat drank my coffee.'

Magnus looked around the room. 'He isn't even here Alexander. He didn't come back last night.'

'I let him in this morning.'

Magnus's eyes found Alec again. He didn't know what he expected to see. An angry Alec, sure. But an angry Alec pointing to the ceiling? Not so much.

Slowly, very slowly, Magnus's eyes moved to the roof. 

'How in the world...Chairman?'

'I'm going to kill it.'

\- - -

Magnus was going to kill both of his boys. He was going to rip their eyeballs out and throw their bodies into a lake. He was so far past done with the two of them.

Alec loses his watch? Clearly it was the cat.

Alec suddenly has a hole in his shoe? Must have been the cat.

Chairman's food bowl is empty? Had to have been the shadowhunter.

He was done, done, DONE. And he was going to tell the both of them to cut it out before he cut their throats. 

He could hear the television in the livingroom, so he decided to start there. 

He found Alec, sprawled out on the lounge, watching some TV show that Magnus did not have the time for. 'Stay there.' Magnus demanded. 'Okay...' Alec replied.

He searched the entire loft. He looked in every possible nook and cranny the cat could have wriggled into, until he found himself back in the livingroom, glaring at the back of his boyfriends head. 'Did you let the Chairman out?'

Alec didn't reply. 

'Alexander. I swear, I will not kiss you for a month.' Magnus rambled as he walked around to stand in front of Alec. He stopped, frozen in shock, and stared at the scene before him. 

'Meow mew.'

'Magnus move. We are watching How It's Made.'

Magnus blinked. His boyfriend was where he had left him, in the exact position he had been in before. And his cat, lay sprawled out on his back, glaring at Magnus from Alec's stomach. 'What?'

'I said move. We are watching the TV.'

'What?'

Alec rolled his eyes at the same time Chairman Meow made a sound of protest. 

'You two are getting along?'

'Mew.'

'We like the same show, big deal, now can you move please?'

'Alright.'

Magnus watched the two of them as he slowly backed out of the room. Alec's stretched, his entire body lifting of the couch, the Chairman yawned, but didn't move a muscle as Alec got himself comfortable again. 

The hand that was resting on the back of the couch slid down the rest on his chest, and Magnus heard Chairman make a sound of protest as Alec being so close to him. 

'Oh come off it,' Alec replied, flicking one of the cats ears before moving his hand to rest atop his head.

'I'm dreaming,' Magnus muttered to himself, 'this is just a crazy dream.'

\- - -

'You want some coffee? Huh?' 

'Reow!'

'Okay, touchy. I was just offering.'

Magnus had decided that he was stuck in an alternate dimension. This was not normal.

His boyfriend and cat were not, dare he say it, friends. 

The thought disturbed him. 

\- - -

His boyfriend and cat were friends. And Magnus was more upset by this thought than the thought of them hating each other. 

He had walked into their room, hoping to get some cuddle time in with Alec before he had to go out with Jace and Izzy, but found him already in the middle of a cuddle session.

With the Chairman. 

They were laying on Alec's side of the bed, watching cat videos on YouTube. Magnus had flopped himself down on the bed grumpily, hoping to disturb their peace. It didn't work.

'Why can't you be that cute?' Magnus heard Alec ask. It was followed by a soft 'brrp' noise. 

'Aren't you meant to be on duty?' Magnus asked grumpily. 

'Hmm?' Alec rolled onto his back and look over at Magnus. 

'Don't you have to go out and kill demons? Or are you too busy falling in love with my cat?'

Alec smiled, and Magnus seen a piece of gum stuck to his teeth. 'Are you jealous?'

'He's a cat.'

Alec's smile grew. 'He's a rat. And I'm free all week.'

'I bet the cat will enjoy your time.'

Alec snorted, before placing his phone on his side table and rolling on top of Magnus. 

'This doesn't make it better,' Magnus pouted, 'he is still here.' 

Alec rolled his gum around his mouth for a second, before slowly sliding his hand across the bed. Magnus watched as Chairman Meow slowly stood up, and backed away from Alec's reach. Alec slid closer the cat, until he finally got the hint. 

Chairman Mew arched his back for a moment, hissed, then sped out of the room. As far away from Alec as he could get. 

'What the hell just happened?'

Alec laughed, and Magnus watched as his gum fell from the top of his mouth and down to his tongue. 'We aren't friends, kitten. We just - I don't know, tolerate each other.'

'Oh,' Magnus pursed his lips, 'so you still love me?'

Alec stuck his gum between his teeth and made a face. 'Just a bit.'

Magnus kissed him stupid.


End file.
